PRESS: Is there a right way to celebrate cultures that aren’t our own?
A conversation with Nyla Khan and Cole Paulson on DEVIANTS podcast where they invited us to discuss our experience of our Shakti Rising event and tackle the complicated question of what it means to celebrate cultures beyond our own.
You can hear the full episode here:
A NOTE ON SHAKTI RISING
Shakti Rising, our last epic event, was a deeply challenging journey for us.
It had taken us years to find the courage to explore this important theme; the profound influence of South Asian traditions upon us, the power of Shakti and the divine feminine, and the many practices and ideas that continue to shape how we understand wellbeing and consciousness.
Before the event, people raised serious concerns about whether Fox&Badge could engage respectfully with cultural and spiritual traditions rooted in South Asia. Some of those questions were important and necessary. Some of the exchanges became accusatory, adversarial or based on assumptions that did not reflect what we were actually creating. It was often difficult to distinguish thoughtful challenge from the distortion and outrage that online spaces can so easily amplify.
In response, we took unprecedented steps. We formed a large and diverse steering group of South Asian collaborators, curated a South Asian lineup of DJs and musicians, platformed an extraordinary range of South Asian artists and performers, and shaped the event through extensive consultation. None of this gave us a simple stamp of approval or answered every possible question about cultural exchange. But it helped us create something collaboratively, with care, openness and a willingness to listen and adapt.
The online conflict was painful. It was also another reminder of how quickly digital spaces can become bonfires of certainty, anger and misunderstanding. It is unsettling to imagine a world in which we all behave face-to-face as we sometimes do online. That’s one of the many reasons we devote so much of our lives to bringing people together in physical spaces.
After the online storms, we felt that Shakti Rising unfolded beautifully. It became an exquisite opportunity to encounter, celebrate and learn from traditions that have profoundly influenced many of us.
At our crew drinks after the event, numerous South Asian collaborators told us how meaningful the experience had been for them and how much they wanted the theme to return. Their responses did not erase every difficult question, but they affirmed the value of what we had created together.
The event also produced a rare and beautiful offshoot. Inspired by our Kirtan experience, a group of us now meet fortnightly to chant and improvise vocalisations, led by our dear brother Yush!, Soham Pathak, who curated the music in our live room.
Shortly after the event, we were fortunate to meet Nyla Khan and learn about DEVIANTS, the podcast series she hosts with Cole Paulson which is dedicated to “exploring what it means to be a cultural deviant. To question the systems, stories, and identities that shape us. From politics to pleasure, culture to connection, this is where taboo meets truth, and curiosity leads us to create lives and loves without a roadmap.”They invited us onto the show to reflect upon our experience and address the complex question of what it means to celebrate cultures beyond our own.
It became a thoughtful inquiry into a sensitive area. We discussed our fears before the event, the challenges we encountered, our relief and joy when it succeeded, and the broader struggle to have meaningful and productive conversations about subjects on which we disagree.
We were then fortunate to meet Nyla and Cole in person at the first DEVIANTS gathering, where we began imagining a possible way to approach other challenging themes in the future.
When questions about cultural appropriation first arose around our Religion event in 2018, I tried to convene an in-person discussion where people with different perspectives could listen to one another in the flesh. That meeting never happened, and the conversation remained online. Positions hardened, feelings were hurt and little understanding was gained.I have wanted ever since to try another approach: to face the discomfort of disagreement, listen deeply, understand why people feel as they do and, where possible, build bridges.
There are many deep and beautiful themes we would love to explore, but we can regrettably feel a little scared to approach them. Fear is understandable - but we do not want it to determine the limits of our curiosity. We would rather be guided by love, accompanied by care and accountability.
We do not want to restrict ourselves to familiar, limited, Anglo or Euro-centric reference points. Fox&Badge is a culturally diverse community, and all of us are shaped by complicated histories, encounters, inheritances and influences. We want to explore those influences without pretending they belong to us, stripping them of context or speaking over people with a lived relationship to them.
I love travelling, but often wish I could move beyond the roles created by tourism and hospitality: to meet people more reciprocally, understand something of their lives, and exchange ideas as equals. An event cannot reproduce another culture or substitute for encountering it on its own terms. But when created through genuine collaboration, it can offer an unprecedented opportunity for curiosity, connection, education - and transformation.
I suggested that, before launching any future event involving a particularly sensitive theme, we could begin by assembling collaborators, sharing research and convening an open, in-person gathering. People could raise concerns, contribute perspectives, challenge our assumptions and help shape the questions we need to consider before decisions have already been made.
To my delight, Nyla agreed to help host and mediate such a gathering. We hope this kind of meeting could allow us all to hear one another more fully and, even where agreement is impossible, choose curiosity over certainty, and connection over division.
The experience of Shakti Rising also reminded me that we are all continually negotiating intimate and complicated human relationships, each requiring its own forms of patient tending.
At Fox&Badge, I serve many roles and am blessed to work with hundreds of brilliant people. I cannot always give everyone the time and attention I would like to give them. It has therefore become crucial for me to develop a compassionate, loving and clear way of communicating.
No doubt I regularly fall short. I also want to keep learning, receive feedback and do better. This becomes especially difficult in anonymous or adversarial online exchanges, where people may not share the same desire for clarity, openness or accountability.
Relationship researcher Dr John Gottman identified four behaviours that can deeply undermine human relationships: criticism, contempt, defensiveness and stonewalling.
His framework was developed for intimate relationships, rather than public disputes, but it has become a useful personal reminder. During the conversations surrounding Shakti Rising, I saw traces of these behaviours in the exchanges around us and, at times, in my own responses. When our intentions or integrity appear to be under attack, defensiveness comes easily. The harder task is to remain clear, accountable and genuinely curious without accepting hostility or abandoning honest disagreement.
Understanding will always be harder when people are separated by screens. That is why we will continue creating physical spaces where people can meet in a spirit of open-hearted and compassionate enquiry, confront difficult questions, and enjoy the gorgeous fruits of our shared humanity.
We thank everyone who continues to show up, communicate honestly and brave the unknown with us in this great journey of human connection and communion.
