In reverence: why we're exploring Ancient India
What does it mean to be genuinely inspired by a culture that isn't your own - and to try & explore it with integrity? In this open letter ahead of Shakti Rising, Fox&Badge Director Alex Haw traces a path from a formative time living in India at 18, through years of hesitation, to a heartfelt decision to honour the extraordinary philosophical and spiritual gifts of Ancient India.
By Alex Haw - Director, Fox&Badge
Our intentions for Fox&Badge are constantly evolving. We have no intricate business plan; no 10-year strategy; no deep insight on where we’ll end up.
This isn’t just a daytime business, or a hobby; it’s a calling, and my current life devotion. I never saw this coming; had no plans to run events, or build community. I was an extremely shy child - terrified of dancing.
I trained as an architect, and thought maybe on the side I could get away with making art. I love Jung’s quote “If the path before you is clear, you’re probably on someone else’s.” I had no idea that work like I now do was even possible - but it’s now what demands all my energy and attention. It’s an odd, wild, crazy, challenging and wonderful job with no name, and the very greatest of privileges.
Many people think we run parties. Maybe we do. That’s not how I see it. I see them as intentional gatherings where we can meet in greater honesty, playfulness and intentionality than we can elsewhere. Where we can all explore the ways we might all attune & co-create. Where we can contemplate our own evolution and transformation - individually and collectively. For me, this work is therapeutic and cathartic. Ideally - it invites us to confront who we truly are. My greatest reference in all of this is archetypal psychotherapy, and Jung, and the dream world. The subconscious, and intuition. It offers no maps; it demands only enquiry, and a kind of surrender.
Dance music has been such a great healer for me, and I believe dance is one of our greatest therapeutic modalities. My heart and mind and soul explode when I can finally unleash. Fox&Badge will always centre around dancefloors. But there are also many other things at work. We seek to truly invite deep soul expression; honest, vulnerable, embodied truth. To cut through the noise and chat and banter. To encourage the deepest of connections. And to explore the ways we can all experience and co-create open-minded, open-hearted, genuinely inclusive community.
COSTUME
One of the easiest ways for us all to attune as a community is costume. It is always a kind of mask; always inherently theatrical; always a medley of unfathomably intricate messages, saturated with references we can never fully understand. It is an exquisitely rich language, and invites us out of our customary stupor of neutral, comparatively apathetic leisurewear.
It invites us back into joy; into a celebration both of our bodies, and the ingenuity of countless faceless artists that all shaped how we adorn and dress; how flat fabric stretches across our contours, and metal snakes over us. It is always an opportunity for elegance and beauty - qualities we often fear and degrade; for self expression; for joy and gratitude. We may take great pleasure from what we wear- but parts of what we wear can only ever be enjoyed by others. Costume is always a gift to others; a kind of artistic dance between humans. It sanctifies and elevates.
It is also always possibly laden with anxiety. We can sometimes judge ourselves and our bodies; worry about how we look; whether we’re too much, or enough; being creative enough; even doing the right thing. This post tries to gently explore and hopefully alleviate some of the anxieties that arise when we contemplate costume, and culture. It precedes a follow-up intro post to event-specific costume (& then a daily succession of detailed, carefully-considered examples) where we explore all the ways in which your sartorial gifts can be as alluring and aware, respectful and generous as possible. How we can all best revere and celebrate.
INDIA
We are extremely excited by our next event (Shakti Rising), and by all the immense gifts that all our incredible collaborators are bringing. This is such a unique moment and opportunity, and such a path of discovery. South Asia, like all cultures, has so much to teach us. We have so much to learn.
I first moved to India when I was 18, and taught English there for 6 months. I’d been blessed with a great education up til that point - but I had no greater teacher than India. I lived in Saharanpur (Uttar Pradesh) - a massive industrial town, larger than any UK city except London (India has at least 64 cities with a population over 1 million; the UK has just 1 - maybe 2, if you count outer Birmingham). It was a fairly everyday kind of place - not one you’d visit unless for work or visiting family. I never saw another white person there. It was a mindblowing experience. I was treated with the utmost of kindness - a grateful recipient of legendary Indian hospitality and thoughtfulness. My fellow teachers taught me so much; so did my students. It reminds me that for all the ways in which travel broadens the mind, living in a community refines the soul.
I’d never read many philosophical or spiritual texts - and I started there. It was also India that helped me overcome my conditioned shame around sexuality, and glimpse its sacredness. It was mind-opening to visit Hindu Temples - and witness, among so much else, practices that celebrated the union of energies through the Yoni Lingham; to learn about the Kama Sutra, and that embodied pleasure might accompany an evolution of consciousness; to discover the incomparable erotic carvings (amidst many other scenes) covering Khajuraho Temples; to learn that union can be divine. Though I eventually moved back to the UK, these and so many other lessons and insights from India remained with me, and remain the foundation of so much of who I think I am, and what we do at Fox&Badge. This event honours those teachings, & that great teacher.
WHY SHAKTI RISING
Each year we look back at all the events and experiences we’ve created, and ponder our blind spots; what did we miss? What never got said, or explored? Shakti Rising is our little attempt to atone and recalibrate. So many of our recent themes have been European, or American - offering incredibly diverse and rich archetypes to explore - yet also limitations of perspective.
I’m half British and grew up with agnostic parents and religious Christian grandparents. Forced daily childhood attendance at church bred a sophomoric atheism; psychedelics and ceremonies would later invite spirituality back into my life, where nature daily offers a portal into the mysteries. I’m deeply drawn to paganism, but I live surrounded by the conditioning of a Christian culture which has stripped a reverence for the feminine - with catastrophic consequences.
I am constantly struck, as a privileged male, at the tragic persistent inequity for women (or nonbinary). We can’t even talk about menstruation; can’t even start to think about both its gift and toll - how it might affect e.g. so many in our workforce, and how we might support them. It was only 15 years ago that we finally allowed mothers to do what nature demands - to breastfeed their children when they need to (in public). It was only 100 years earlier that women got the vote in the UK. The list of traumas feels infinite.
In case it’s not screamingly obvious, we don’t expand our horizons and look to other cultures for decoration, or fun, or looks. We’re trying to humbly learn and grow. We’re not commercial, and not doing it to plunder and profit and exploit. We try to approach all cultures as both equals and teachers. Today we don’t look to India because it’s overcome the patriarchy - it clearly hasn’t either - but because it generated so many world-shattering philosophies that truly expand our consciousness, and teach us what our birthplaces might not be able to.
We look to Shakti inspired by the concept that the feminine completes the universe; brings abstraction into action; is key, central, and universally divine. The ancient concept of Shakti emerged in the Indus Valley, long before it came to become more defined by the sacred Sanskrit Hindu texts and vedas, which might have been written a millennium later (~1500-500 BCE). Hinduism itself is deeply vast and diverse, its traditions spanning over 3 millennia - and yet its singular unifying name only emerged in the mid 1800’s, popularised by Indian reformers, European scholars and British colonial administrators.
THE SACRED & THE PROFANE
We look to Shakti with curiosity, respect and the greatest of reverence - acknowledging that Shakti became a core and sacred component of Hinduism, which we do not practise, and cannot fully comprehend or remotely claim to represent. We note the centrality and inspiration of Shakti to faiths outside Hinduism, like Tantric Buddhism, and to other modern spiritual paths. We ourselves are inspired by Shakti in creating a non-religious, archetypal energy space - creating a space where those forces can be felt, expressed, and explored through music, movement, and connection. We honour our Hindu brothers and sisters, and their sacred practices, and acknowledge the deep sensitivity around religious practice. We deeply seek to avoid adding yet more layers of offence and disrespect to a culture that has been mistreated and misrepresented; we’re pained by the darker history of British Colonialism, the legacy it has wrought, and the indescribable pain that endures.
We aim for the ecstatic - yet we also acknowledge the grief. They are inextricably linked. For well over 2 years, since we ran our 1st Death Cafe & Grief Circle, we have sought to give space and voice to grief. To cry, release, flow. We are increasingly drawn to REVERENCE - and to all the ways in which, without practice or pretension, we might humbly worship. Without heaviness or righteousness, we are leaning towards devotion. The etymology of devotion leads back to ideas of consecration and vows, and reminds us of the necessities and rewards of some form of sacrifice.
At this event we will again be hosting shrines that invite us all into contemplation; moments for pause and prayer, humility and gratitude. Inspired by Shakti, we will create a space where we can give thanks for feminine energy - and masculine. We live in a very masculine world - but deeply honour the divine masculine as much as the divine feminine.
We operate in nightclubs because they are large, tolerant spaces laced with the very best in technology - exquisite sound and light; our portals to transcendence. In some way they are the cathedrals of their day, where flocks throng, and many find their way to worship. Vast magical stained glass walls have morphed into video screens, sculpted by the best artists of the day, magical imagery glimpsed between veils of smoke. We process, chant, commune. With each event it feels like we deepen towards ritual - anointing those who enter; exploring collective song; contemplating sacrament.
The venues survive from their sale of alcohol - what some might call toxic, and others an age-old spiritual technology - the blood of Christ and elixir of life, worshipped since Bacchus for its capacity to release us. Many of us have quit alcohol, or barely drink; almost nobody at our events gets wasted. Some religious practitioners may feel these environments preclude the sacred; we don’t feel that way. Others, desiring either chastity or restraint, may be uncomfortable with the overt sexual expression we welcome - but we feel that life essence lies at the very heart of sacredness, and give deep thanks to the ways in which our bodies and our sensuality can be true portals to the divine.
CULTURAL APPROPRIATION; FEAR & LOVE
We occasionally hear complaints that we are culturally appropriating. This has emerged a few times in our 10 years. The accusation can have honourable intentions - the desire to ensure cultures are respected and protected, and identities not commodified or extracted in yet more colonialism. Yet it can also be blind to all nuance; enact the very power grab it decries; deny actual voice to those it claims to protect.
We’ve run Tantra at countless events and for many years I’ve wanted to foreground a wider palette of wisdom that acknowledges our debt to Ancient India. And I’ve never dared, frankly for fear of condemnation and backlash. What flipped it for me was the sense that NOT exploring all the healthy ways in which we can learn from this (& all) culture was worse, not better. Neglectful. Failing to acknowledge. And inadvertently continuing to diminish and ignore. Not talking about it meant giving it no voice at all. It suggested to me that we could only perpetuate a series of utterly Eurocentric themes, never leaving home, caught in our echo chamber, excluding the influence of other potentially even greater cultures. We do the work we do to try and lift the sense of taboo, shame and prohibition; that applies to this theme too. To be inspired by Shakti is not forbidden, taboo or disrespectful - it is the very opposite.
CONSULTATION & COLLABORATION
When we 1st began to more seriously consider a deep exploration of Ancient India, we asked many questions, and sought the counsel of many people. We canvassed widely for months, inviting respectful friction rather than simple validation. Eventually we formed a kind of steering committee composed almost entirely of kind open-hearted geniuses, almost all with some form of South Asian descent. They each have different skills, backgrounds and viewpoints. They bear no responsibility for any of our choices or mistakes - but have simply and generously offered a gentle steer and thoughtful feedback, and we deeply thank them.
We’re hoping to finally announce our DJ lineup soon. I confess It’s been quite a journey trying to source the rare overlap of many niches - in Room 1, all women with South Asian heritage who not only play the music we love and worship (melodic techno), but are willing to explore THEMATIC melodic techno, infusing their sets with spiritual power and the ancestral voice of the divine feminine. The whole lineup across both rooms has been co-curated in deep consultation with the amazing DJ & artist VIZANO (AKA Vik Harb), a practicing Hindu, who has been supremely helpful and supportive in bringing this all to fruition - more on him soon. I deeply appreciate how he has encouraged and improved this event - and the astonishing surprise gift he’s also bringing.
The same goes for all the DJs, musicians, performers and immersives I am speaking to - who are universally excited that we are doing our very best to honour their culture and offer a humble platform for its voices to be heard. It feels unthinkable to not be doing this event - and not enabling these moments.
For this event I am resisting approaching performers with all the ideas I’d love to see happen - and allowing the forms to emerge unimpeded from them; to minimise the pressure I might bring, and just try & listen. As with all things, this brings its shadow. In prioritising some voices, we exclude others. This process has brought an unwitting focus on the vicissitudes of birthplace rather than just the achievements of artistry. It can feel prejudicial to focus on origin. Yet it of course opens up vast avenues and conversations and worlds. We’re doing our very best to bring balance, and conscientiously do what we think is right and good.
AHISMA
Reaching consensus is so challenging - especially once communities become large and diverse. Healthy communities sustain and respect disagreements. I’ve had my share of disagreements over our decade, and will doubtlessly continue to do so. We just ask that disagreements are articulated respectfully and lovingly.
We try to adhere to the principles of Non-violent Communication. We try to communicate with care; speak from experience, not judgment; express feelings without blame; make requests, not attacks.
We try to move with cultural curiosity and respect. I 1st came across NVC via the books and recordings of Marshall Rosenberg, but it took me more time to understand that this was actually in origin the practice of Ahisma (or non-harming), long practised by Jains, Hindus and Buddhists, and later brought to the fore by Gandhi. Once more, we have been quietly taught by Ancient India.
We humans can all so easily be misunderstood. Written words especially can be so easily misunderstood. A few terse words can seem aggressive; leave such lingering fear. Online communication, devoid of the crucial nuances of tone and context, can so easily spiral out of hand. Whilst we invite enquiry and conversation, we find that the online comments sections of posts are almost never suitable platforms for incisive and loving discussion. We have occasionally deleted comments that threaten to spiral. We explain more on our reasoning in this blogpost on our communication values. We never wish to just silence or censor - only to protect and manage well.
UNITY
There has been trauma, and trauma continues - and so does healing. We don’t worship wounds and we’d love for us all to move forwards, positively, with love and not fear. The discourse of Cultural Appropriation ultimately risks choosing fear over love. The world can be a scary place - especially now, where the deranged masculine is in the ascendancy, and everyone suffers as a result. So many people are in so much pain - financially, emotionally, spiritually. So now more than ever, it feels like our collective opportunity to coalesce in hope and unity, resisting fearfulness, choosing integrity and discernment, celebrating with respect.
India is the world’s largest democracy - 4 times more populous than the next (the USA). Partition was brutally problematic, and racial tensions of course exist, yet you cannot help but be awed and inspired by how such a vast and diverse culture, swimming with faiths, still inspires unity. I will never forget how each temple of each faith often carried a sign of unity reminding us that, whatever their differences, their quest was similar; that ultimately all yearn to be one.
Everyone will not agree. This post will doubtless enrage and inflame a few; perhaps many. Hopefully not. I apologise to those I unwillingly hurt; I do not mean to hurt you, and wish you well.
If you got this far - thanks so much for reading. If it prompts things you’d like to discuss - please do reach out - ideally via foxandbadge@gmail.com.
We very much hope you can join us all on Sunday 3rd May.
We’ll be in Heaven <3
Alex
